The Prank
by life swings like jazz
Summary: Is Voldemort really a big evil Dark Lord? Are Lily and James really dead? Meet the prankster Tom Riddle. OneShot.


The Prank

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_'It's all over. We've lost. The world's going to be taken over, by Lord Voldemort.' _

These were the thoughts that were running through Harry Potter's head, as he looked into the glowing red eyes of the man ... no, monster, that had defeated him.

Tom Marvolo Riddle was the victor. All that was left was for him to do was to die, and the world would be faced by the most evil thing to ever be created. Well, it certainly couldn't come under the title of clichéd in word atrocities, could it? Stupid hero job description; signing a life contract had its consequences.

"My last words to you, Harry Potter, are ... APRIL FOOLS!"

With that, the evil Lord Voldemort tore off his realistic mask, and revealed the seventy-six year old Tom Riddle, complete with dark blue eyes and greying black hair.

"Wha?" Was all Harry could say. His vocabulary was very basic anyway, so no one took it as a surprise.

He watched the Dark Lord that everyone feared, who was now respectively laughing like a mad man.

"What the bloody hell is happening!" He inquired shortly, scratching his head. Tom was reminded of a troll, at this. Or Ron, preferably.

"We can probably tell you that," A Death Eater said, coming forward and taking off his mask.

He beckoned for another Death Eater to come forward, before he turned around. This shocked everyone, as standing before them were the long thought dead Lily and James Potter.

"Mum, Dad! What the hell is happening! Aren't you supposed to be dead? And why did you become Death Eaters! Why did you abandon me like that!"

Harry screamed this long, yet somewhat unintelligent banter at his parents, who were calmly standing in front of him. It was probably some mistake of the biological order of things that he was, in fact, their son.

"Now Harry, don't get this way! There's nothing wrong with what we're doing now, is there, honey?"

"No, James darling, there's nothing wrong with having ... a little fun. Everyone needs to have some fun, otherwise they might as well become suicidal!"

"FUN AND MURDER ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS!" Harry screamed at them rather loudly, glowering.

Or, maybe ... he had passed his OWL'S because he was being pricky, and loud, so the teacher's passed him to avoid an aneurysm. In case his head blew up, and their lack of school insurance dictated that there would be his entrails hanging off the chandelier in the Transfiguration classroom.

"Murder? Who said anything about murder, Harry?" Asked Tom, as he came up to them with midnight blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"If you think that any of us would murder someone, then you don't know anything about us."

"You see, son, on the night we were supposedly murdered, Tommie here sent us a note explaining about how he had come up with The Prank! It was the opportunity of a lifetime to be in one of the biggest pranks in the world, don't ya think?"

James grinned goofily. Point proven they were related. Go figure.

"We've been making everyone think that there was a Dark Lord on the loose with the typical; _I was brought up badly_, _I hate Muggles_. Yadda, yadda, yadda. You understand now?" Asked Lily pleasantly.

"Hell, you didn't even get hit by a tickle charm! Let alone the killing curse." Mused James.

"Then how on earth did I get this scar?" Asked Harry, pointing at the lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead, confusedly.

"We used magic marker. Useful stuff, that. Turns into whatever you want it to be, and as you can guess, we chose a lightning bolt shaped scar! Lily wanted it to be a love heart, but Tom and me told her that it would make you look wimpy if you had a heart on your head. So we chose the lightning bolt."

"Then _why_ does it hurt whenever I'm near Voldemort, and why do I get visions of what he's doing when I go to sleep?"

Harry inquired this delicately, trying to prove that it wasn't a prank. Still. Honestly, it was a wonder he hadn't given up hope, yet. Weirdo.

"It does?" James blanched, in surprise. "Let me see it."

He walked up, and took a good look at the scar. Apparently when he thought, he usually made grunting noises. Lily and Tom rolled their eyes.

"Well the visions were just your normal dreams, kiddo, and it hurt because by the looks of things, you're allergic to magic marker! Sorry about that. Give me a second, and I'll remove it."

It took him a moment to gather his bearings, and he remembered finally to turn around the other way.

"Hey, Tom!" James shouted. "You got any magic marker remover? It looks like Harry's allergic to magic marker!"

"Yep, catch!"

Tom threw an eraser type object to James, who caught it with his left hand.

"Now, Harry, stand still and that scar will be gone in a jiffy!"

James brandished the eraser importantly, then rubbed it across the oddly shaped scar.

"There, no more lightning bolt scar on your head! Though personally, I would have kept it. It looked wicked!"

"Okay, if this was a prank, how the _hell_ did you become that little snakey-kiddy-thingy? And how did you rise again out of that cauldron thingy?"

Harry arched an eyebrow, starting to believe that it _was_ a prank, and that everything would be perfect soon.

And maybe he'd be less screwy in the head. The whole emo-depressive-teenager mood had been beginning to bother him.

"Have you ever heard of a little thing called special effects? They _really_ help you when you need to make something look absolutely spectacular! Was it really that good that it fooled everyone?"

Tom smiled, then looked around at all the people who were nodding their heads in surprise.

"Wow, maybe I should give the special effects artists a pay rise!" He cackled to himself.

"Blood smart buggers!" He clapped excitedly.

Suddenly, because of all the shock that he went through, Harry Potter died of a heart attack.

Everyone, at the time, believed this simplistic concept. But after the appropriate questionings of fast food joints and a sobbing house-elf named Dobby, everyone discovered the true reason Harry had died.

KFC and McDonald's were to blame. The colonel expressed his deep regrets.

Damn those awful fat-filled diets!

The End 

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Disclaimer: _These characters don't belong to me and if you think they do then you should really read the Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling._

A/N: This idea was given to me by my friend, Bethany, so give her some of the credit.

Have a great day!


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